Better Than Me
by krvlbc
Summary: A oneshot DMHG fic.  Draco wakes up and realizes that getting his Dark Mark cost him the one thing that he ever cared about.


Better Than Me

I woke up and looked next to me, where your nightgown used to be. I've never felt this feeling before, this guilt that has been plaguing me since the day you walked out that door, and back to them. I knew from the second I received the Dark Mark, that you deserve much better than me.

_"Draco, it's time." I heard my father say in my head. I woke up feeling your hair on my face. I knew then that I needed you, but if you found out what I was about to do, you'd never forgive me. I couldn't let you know. I got up slowly, so as not to wake you. I walked outside and apparated to the point my father had told me._

_When I returned several hours later, you were still asleep. I performed a cloaking spell on my arm to hide the skull and snake now blatantly tattooed across my forearm. I crawled back into bed with you and slept until you began shifting beside me. When you opened your eyes, I placed a soft kiss on those perfect lips._

_"Hermione, have I ever told you that I love the way your innocence tastes?" I asked._

When I got up, I reached underneath the bed looking for the box of memories that were now all I had left of you. You tried to take them when you left, but I couldn't let you. I needed them. You said that even though I had betrayed you, there were happy times, and you wanted to remember those. I found a picture of you and Ginny, outside a Muggle mall. You looked so happy standing outside the bridal store with her, and I remember that day so clearly.

_I knocked on the dressing room door, and I heard you say "Ginny, this is the one. I've found it." You opened the door, expecting to see Ginny, but it was my face that you saw instead._

_"Draco, get out!! You aren't supposed to see me in my dress until our wedding day." you shrieked. "Bloody hell, now I have to find a new one."_

_"No, that's the one, you are right," I said. __You looked so perfect in that dress, that I couldn't help myself. __I pushed you into the dressing room a__nd__ kissed you as if it was the last time I ever would._

I was right. That was the last time I kissed you, the last perfect moment we would have. That night, as I got out of the shower, I forgot the cloaking spell. I had a towel around my waist, and you were at the sink, brushing your teeth.

I reached across you to the other side of the sink to grab my toothbrush, and that's when you saw it. You didn't throw a fit, didn't scream or cry or anything. You just looked at that mark, and up into my eyes. You always knew the truth by looking into my eyes, and you knew by looking in them at that moment that I was caught. You calmly walked to our bedroom, packed your things and apparated away.

A few days later, you came back. I had never felt so happy in my life.

_"Don't get your hopes up, Draco. I just forgot something," __you __said. I followed you to what used to be our bedroom, and watched as you looked in the nightstand that used to have books of yours piled on top of it._

_"I know what you're looking for, but you can't have it. I need it, because it's all I have left of you," I said._

_"Draco, even though you betrayed my trust, I still want to remember the times that we were happy together. I know that I shouldn't, but I can't help myself. It makes this easier, this feeling in my heart, knowing that there were happy times," you replied._

_"I'm sorry," was all that I could say before you walked out of my life again._

I crawled back into bed and stared at that picture for what seemed like hours. The bed is colder without you in it. But it can't be over between us, I can't lose you.

I made a decision in that instant, one that would most likely cost me my life, but I didn't care. I had no life without you, and if this could redeem me in your eyes, than it would be worth it.

* * *

When I walked into the Dark Lord's chambers, he looked up at me.

"Ah, Draco, to what do I owe this pleasure?" he asked.

"I'm here to save myself," I simply stated, before raising my wand. Avada Kedavra were the last words that Voldemort heard, and they were stated, not by Harry Potter as everyone had believed, but, by Draco Malfoy. I was one of his most trusted followers, so no one expected it.

I left those chambers with a huge weight lifted off of me. I had to see her, so I went to the one person who would know where she was.

* * *

"Malfoy, what are you doing here?" Potter asked.

"He's dead. Where is Hermione?" I asked.

"Who's dead?" inquired Potter.

"Voldemort, now where is she?" I pushed.

"I won't tell you Malfoy, you've hurt her enough." Potter replied.

Just then, she walked into the room. She had been crying, and even though it had been months since I had so much as laid an eye on her, it still broke my heart to see her cry.

"Draco, what are you doing here? What do you mean Voldemort is dead?" Hermione asked with a voice that was hoarse from crying.

"I needed to say this to you, even though I know it's too late for us. I really miss your hair in my face, and the way your innocence tastes, and I think you should know this. You deserve much better than me. But if you give me another chance, I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I killed Voldemort; I'm no longer his follower. He took away from me the one thing that has ever mattered to me, and I needed to prove to you that I was serious about walking away from my past. I want a future with you." I pleaded. I was on my knees.

Hermione came and knelt down in front of me, tears coming to her eyes. "I knew you'd make the right choice in the end." With that, she kissed me, and I knew that was our most perfect moment. It was the one we would tell our grandchildren about.

"Merlin, you deserve so much better than me."

* * *

A/N - This is based on Hinder's "Better Than Me." Some of the lyrics are used. I don't own them or the characters. 


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